Reasons you should go out with me

1. If you let me take you to dinner, you get free food.
2. Graying beard and temples make me look more wise than I really am.
3. I give incredible back rubs.
4. I have appeared on stage at a comedy club and folks actually laughed.
5. Cats seem to like me.
6. Smiles and hugs: free with every interaction.
7. Would you want to be known throughout history as "the one who let Sam Cancilla get away"?
8. Won't be wasting my money on flashy new vehicles as I prefer broken-down old ones.
9. Bad news for me: my parents are deceased. Good news for you: no inlaws!!!
10. Yearly trips to Las Vegas. And I won't try to impersonate Elvis.
11. I take a shower at least once a day.
12. Created and wore the award winning ties at both the 2002 (Lucky Tie) and 2003 (Jacob's Ladder Tie) New Years Eve parties.
13. After an intimate encounter a woman once suggested I should come with warning labels. It is left as an exercise for the reader to discover what she meant by that.
14. I had a flag on my vehicle before September 11th.
15. With all the rollercoasters I've ridden, our relationship doesn't need to be one.
16. I fix a mean frozen dinner.
17. I am an excellent father and have raised excellent sons.
18. Voted best hugger at more than one gathering.
19. I do my own laundry and have never put a red shirt in with the whites.
20. My son is a cop and he'd likely let you off with a warning if he stopped you for speeding and you were my girlfriend.
21. I own a pickup truck and a utility trailer and often use them to help friends move.
22. I only tie women up and spank them when they ask me to.
23. Six Flags season pass holder many years since 1999. Nearest Six Flags? 627 miles.
24. I understand the difference between their, there, and they're.
25. Briefs, since you asked, but not the boring white ones.
26. How many men do you know who have a tattoo of a Dr. Seuss character (38kb jpg)?
27. Good partner to have while playing 'Trivial Pursuit' or 'Songburst'--I kick ass.
28. Ratio of O's, generally 3:1 or better in her favor. 10:1 is not unheard of.
29. I am gainfully employed retired (since May, 2015).
30. Though I enjoy an occasional drink I am more than happy to be the designated driver on most occasions. Get as drunk as you like.
31. We are of opposite genders in the same species.
32. I'm magically delicious.
33. I am hardly ever referred to as 'infernal', 'mundane' or 'meddling'.
34. DirecTV with a DVR--you'll know where to find me almost every night.
35. Impressive record with Honey-Do lists for women in my life. I own the right tools and know how to use them.
36. My cat: spayed. Me: neutered (OK, vasectomized then).
37. Four out of five dentists recommend me.
38. I actually iron the dress shirts I wear most of the time. (Oops)
39. New & Improved Sam, now with 5% more wackiness than the old Sam.
40. Once brought in $60.00 bid in a Valentine's Bachelor Auction fundraiser. I wasn't the bachelor with the lowest bid!
41. I once performed the Heimlich Maneuver to save a choking victim.
42. I am cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.
43. I'm cute and cuddly.
44. I know how to make websites accessible to disabled users (Note: I sold this business in late 2002).
45. Skillful tongue, if you know what I mean.
46. I know my way around Disneyland.
47. I don't just want to grope your body.
48. I'm not easy, but we can discuss it.
49. The US Government trusts me enough to have issued me a security clearance.
50. I've volunteered my time and skills to build websites for charities: Habitat for Humanity of New Mexico and Albuquerque Parents Without Partners.
51. Take me now. There will be plenty of time for normal people later.
52. I have been both a Cub Scout and Boy Scout leader and have raised an Eagle Scout.
53. 2013 vacaton: visited three museums, one natural wonder, class & family reunions, five amusement parks (54 rollercoasters ridden--woo hoo!).
54. My loud snoring has kept many a burglar away. No more snoring since I started using an iron lung a CPAP machine at night.
55. Tastes great and less filling.
56. Largest collection of wacky ties this side of the Mississippi.
57. I only look innocent.
58. I am unlike any man you have ever met.
59. I have an imagination and I don't mind using it.
60. I've given Mardi Gras beads to women without requiring the normal payment. Of course payment is always appreciated and graciously accepted if they insist.
61. I know all the words to John Denver's "Perhaps Love" and "Annie's Song" and will sing them to you if asked.
62. I don't cheat on my partners or my income taxes.
63. I know all the words to Marcy Playground's "Sex and Candy" and will sing it to you if asked.
64. I try not to make a habit out of wrecking marriages.
65. Actually, I know some of the words to most songs from my youth and will sing them even if you don't ask (and likely even if you ask me not to--sorry 'bout that).
66. I sometimes dress up for Halloween and look good in fishnets (88kb jpg) when I need to.
67. I'll respect you in the morning.
68. My baggage fits nicely under the seat in front of me leaving room in the overhead compartment for other's larger baggage. (opinions on this vary).
69. Recently bought a Blu-Ray player. First disc purchased? The Wizard of Oz, obviously.
70. I've never said no to a woman who wanted to have one of her girlfriends join us in bed. No woman has ever asked, mind you, but I see that as a technicality.
71. My former wife and I have remained good friends.
72. Cool toys. 'nuf said.
73. I can often hold up my end of a conversation.
74. I can take a lickin' and keep on tickin'.
75. Every February: You, me, and Baskin Robbins 'Love Potion #31' ice cream.